4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
