i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
