So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
third nipple confirmed
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
