if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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