Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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