Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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