I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize