we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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