i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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