oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize