an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize