Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
