..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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