the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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