i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
