nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
