And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
