i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I need water and some morals
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