your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
