Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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