Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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