i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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