Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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