FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I enjoy the company of your penis
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
