Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
