Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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