he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
