i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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