if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Is it because I queefed?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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