Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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