Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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