why didn't you poke me back
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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