And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
