exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
