Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize