someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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