He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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