and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you would pick up someone in the library
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
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Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
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Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!