he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
