i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
