How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
