Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
