hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
