I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize