if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize