i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
