I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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