My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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