This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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