once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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