normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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