Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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