i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
